O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee;
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That in Thy ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
O Light that followest all my way,
I yield my flick'ring torch to Thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in Thy sunshine's glow its day
May brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow thro' the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to hide from thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
This hymn has been on my mind all week.
I often think of my actions in terms of, "Am I being an 'energy giver' or an 'energy taker'?"
Obviously, I want to be someone who is an energy giver, someone who gives more than I take, someone who leaves others feeling refreshed, lifted up, inspired, and re-energized rather than drained, exhausted, or grumpy! I don't know how successful I am all time, but I try.
I'm sure everyone has someone in their life who always calls or comes over to tell them about all of their problems and how bad they feel or they always need something done for them. I've certainly known people like that.... and just dread answering the phone when I see it's them again - those energy takers. I hate to think of anyone feeling that way about me, so I try not to be!
Even just yesterday, I was feeling exhausted and burnt out, trying to continue to give, when I felt like I had nothing left and it was torture to do the next thing cheerfully as all those around me were complaining that others should be pitching in and helping more. I was running on almost no sleep, and the day wasn't working out the way it was supposed to. I had a lot that I wanted to say about how they had nothing to complain about compared to the long hours I had put in on their behalf, but I bit my tongue and reminded myself, "Be an energy giver! Don't join their pity party!"
It was hard, and I drove home frustrated, thinking about the fact that you can't always give and give and give.... Or can you? The world says that you must take time for yourself if you don't want to burn out, experience depression, etc. I FELT like something was going to snap. I can't live like this forever, I told myself....
Once again, this hymn came to mind.
In thinking it over, I decided that it IS possible to be an energy giver to others at all times! I don't need to "take a little for me/look out for myself" on occasion to keep myself going, because I have JESUS to rest my weary soul upon. Instead of telling them how unfair life is to me, I should open my aching heart to my Savior.
I have to worry about depressing other people with my weariness and problems when I decide to take instead of give. But I NEVER have to worry about exhausting the endless resources of a Sovereign God!
He is ever faithful.
When my light flickers, I can yield it to Him.
When weariness of soul and body threatens to overcome me, I can lean upon Him.
When I feel completely devoid of any good thing, any good attitudes, any joy, I can go to my precious Lord, and there I will find every good thing to fill my heart and mind.
When I cannot love, I can let Him love through my hands and mouth and feet.
When I cannot, He CAN!