How Fortunate Infinite Wisdom Prevails!

I love, love, love Ruth Bell Graham's poetry... Mom introduced it to me in fourth grade when she gave me a copy of Ruth's book, "Sitting By My Laughing Fire" and told me to learn to write poetry. {I never did write anything worth saving.}

At the time, I thought her poetry was annoying and hard to understand.

Then I grew up a little and lived a little life and started to savor some of her Ruth's words.

And now, there are few things I like more than a Ruth Bell Graham poem. The realness just oozes from it... and her words say what my heart never managed to put into words.

I'll share one of my all-time favorites tonight.

Had I been Joseph's mother

I'd have prayed

protection from his brothers:

"God keep him safe;

he is so young,

so different from

the others."

Mercifully she never knew

there would be slavery

and prison, too.

Had I been Moses' mother

I'd have wept

to keep my little son;

praying she might forget

the babe drawn from the water

of the Nile,

had I not kept

him for her

nursing him the while?

Was he not mine

and she

but Pharaoh's daughter?

Had I been Daniel's mother

I should have pled

"Give victory!

This Babylonian horde-

godless and cruel -

don't let them take him captive

-- better dead,

Almighty Lord!"

Had I been Mary -

Oh, had I been she,

I would have cried

as never a mother cried,

"...Anything, O God,

anything...

but crucified!"

With such prayers

importunate

my finite wisdom

would assail

Infinite Wisdom;

God, how fortunate

Infinite Wisdom

should prevail!

-- RBG

On Accusing God...

I came across this quote the other day while reading "The Pursuit of Holiness" and found it so thought-provoking that I had to text it to several of my friends who have been living through many of the same things I have been.
It's one thing to say God is right. It's yet another to really feel in the depths of your heart that He IS right, no matter what He chooses to do with your life.

"To complain against God is in effect to deny His holiness and to say that He is somehow not fair and just. It is less injury to Him to deny His being than to deny the purity of it; the one makes Him no God, the other a deformed, unlovely, and a detestable God...He that saith God is not holy and right speaks much worse than he that saith there is no God at all."
~ Stephen Churnock, 17th century

Take My Love

Take my will and make it Thine -
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart - it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne,
It shall be Thy royal throne.


Take my love - my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only all for Thee,
Ever, only all for Thee.

- Francis Ridley Havergal

Serious Enough to Really Change?

My desperation to make my heart and life right with God
must be greater than my fear of embarrassment
if I really want God to change me and make me pure.

~ Thought from today's sermon

Think Through Me

Think through me, Thoughts of God,
My Father, quiet me,
Till in Thy holy presence, hushed,
I think Thy thoughts with Thee.

Think through me, Thoughts of God,
That always, everywhere,
The stream that through my being flows,
May homeward pass in prayer.

Think through me, Thoughts of God,
And let my own thoughts be
Lost like sand-pools on the shore
Of the eternal sea.

- Amy Carmichael, Toward Jerusalem

Obedience

It's nice to think of ourselves as obedient...
to God and whomever our earthly authorities may be.

It's easy to feel smug about a lack of conflict, and remember all the things that we are doing that we have been asked to do, and all of the things that we avoid because they won't please someone who we are called to obey. We can call to mind so many sacrifices for the cause of being obedient. All the times we stayed home or went somewhere because we were asked to. All the times we served cheerfully. All the times that we took God's Word seriously and acted upon it. We can mentally add up our brownie points for all the times we were compliant.

But if those times didn't require sacrifice and struggle on our part, those really don't count as anything to be proud of. Sure, they were good and right things. And, yes, if we had done the opposite, we would have been disobedient. BUT, when our authority's will is the same as ours, we are giving ourselves credit for doing what we would have chose to do anyway! It's easy to remember these times when obedience came easily, and then dismiss the occasional times our conscience nagged us, "You're doing your own will, not what you should be doing to obey those that God has placed over you for your good and growth..."

It's easy to feel like I'm obedient. But am I really?

A convicting quote hung on our bathroom wall for several years:

"Obedience is only tested when we confront
something we don't want to do."

~ Obedience is accepting "no" as the final answer.
No asking challenging questions, delaying discussions, no whining, no groans, no frowns, no murmurs.

~ Obedience is finding ways to overcome obstacles.
No negative thinking, no failure to be creative, no "I can't," no giving reasons why I can't do a job.

~ Obedience is doing what you're told,
even if it seems "stupid" and understanding the reasons later.

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving Day

You're probably all tired of hearing about me being sick, but I learned a lot of lessons during the two weeks I had nothing to do but stay in my bedroom and think. : )
I'll quit talking about it after this post!

When our family came down sick with a nasty flu virus in early November, I was about the fourth person to get sick. For most of the family, it lasted about one week - a fever of 103-104 and a headache and congestion, and a cough that hung on for more than a week. One by one, the others got well, and some of the others got sick and got well again.

Except for me.
I, who often manage to avoid getting the colds going around, just stayed sick. I got sick on Monday, and had lots of appointments scheduled throughout the week. I rescheduled most things for the weekend, assuming I'd be well enough to drag myself wherever I needed to go by Friday and Saturday. When the weekend came and I was still as sick as ever, I was still upbeat. I'd be well next week. So, I rescheduled my appointments for Tuesday.
I managed to count my blessings. I was glad this wasn't a stomach flu, and I thought of all the things that could be wrong with me, but weren't.

Tuesday came. My fever was still 103 and I felt no better. I rescheduled my appointments again and did all I could to get well for our Thanksgiving company, Abe and Ellie, and their kids who were supposed to be arriving the next day (Wednesday). I was sure I'd be out of bed by Thanksgiving Day. I couldn't help but be well by then. My other siblings were all bouncing around, cleaning and cooking and preparing for company.

Thanksgiving Day arrived... with my fever, aches, and cough. I managed to drag myself down and flop into the recliner and eat a few bites of turkey dinner. Everyone else was chattering happily and sampling pies when I miserably stumbled back up the stairs to bed. My headache had returned with a vengeance and I felt nauseous now, too. I wondered if it was because this was the first real food I had eaten in over a week.

Whatever the case, as the afternoon wore on and the laughter and gaiety floated up the stairs, all kinds of cross, miserable thoughts flitted across my stale, muddled brain. Why couldn't I just get well?? In my feverish misery I asked myself, When will this end? Maybe I never will get well... Maybe I'll just reschedule things week after week, ever following the illusion that someday I will be well....

Of course, in the back of my mind, I knew those thoughts weren't true, but it felt good to finally just give in to self-pity.

Then the words of the CD playing in the hall caught my attention -

Whither shall I go from Thy spirit?
Or whither shall I flee from Thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there: if I make my bed
in hell, behold, Thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall Thy hand lead me,
and thy right hand shall hold me. (Ps. 139)

God's hand is leading me here?
God is here with me?
Doesn't he want me there - being well again, serving Him?

No. God's hand has led me here.

I may not like it, but I can take His hand, and walk forward here,
not waiting to follow till I'm there - well again.

As I chose to focus on the Truth, I found myself praying for several friends of ours whose situations made mine seem really trivial and silly. And by the time I finished interceding on their behalf, I had a new attitude - one of deep gratitude!

Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving Day

You're probably all tired of hearing about me being sick, but I learned a lot of lessons during the two weeks I had nothing to do but stay in my bedroom and think. : )
I'll quit talking about it after this post!

When our family came down sick with a nasty flu virus in early November, I was about the fourth person to get sick. For most of the family, it lasted about one week - a fever of 103-104 and a headache and congestion, and a cough that hung on for more than a week. One by one, the others got well, and some of the others got sick and got well again.

Except for me.
I, who often manage to avoid getting the colds going around, just stayed sick. I got sick on Monday, and had lots of appointments scheduled throughout the week. I rescheduled most things for the weekend, assuming I'd be well enough to drag myself wherever I needed to go by Friday and Saturday. When the weekend came and I was still as sick as ever, I was still upbeat. I'd be well next week. So, I rescheduled my appointments for Tuesday.
I managed to count my blessings. I was glad this wasn't a stomach flu, and I thought of all the things that could be wrong with me, but weren't.

Tuesday came. My fever was still 103 and I felt no better. I rescheduled my appointments again and did all I could to get well for our Thanksgiving company, Abe and Ellie, and their kids who were supposed to be arriving the next day (Wednesday). I was sure I'd be out of bed by Thanksgiving Day. I couldn't help but be well by then. My other siblings were all bouncing around, cleaning and cooking and preparing for company.

Thanksgiving Day arrived... with my fever, aches, and cough. I managed to drag myself down and flop into the recliner and eat a few bites of turkey dinner. Everyone else was chattering happily and sampling pies when I miserably stumbled back up the stairs to bed. My headache had returned with a vengeance and I felt nauseous now, too. I wondered if it was because this was the first real food I had eaten in over a week.

Whatever the case, as the afternoon wore on and the laughter and gaiety floated up the stairs, all kinds of cross, miserable thoughts flitted across my stale, muddled brain. Why couldn't I just get well?? In my feverish misery I asked myself, When will this end? Maybe I never will get well... Maybe I'll just reschedule things week after week, ever following the illusion that someday I will be well....

Of course, in the back of my mind, I knew those thoughts weren't true, but it felt good to finally just give in to self-pity.
















Then the words of the CD playing in the hall caught my attention -

Whither shall I go from Thy spirit?
Or whither shall I flee from Thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there: if I make my bed
in hell, behold, Thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall Thy hand lead me,
and thy right hand shall hold me. (Ps. 139)

God's hand is leading me here?
God is here with me?
Doesn't he want me there - being well again, serving Him?

No. God's hand has led me here.

I may not like it, but I can take His hand, and walk forward here,
not waiting to follow till I'm there - well again.

As I chose to focus on the Truth, I found myself praying for several friends of ours whose situations made mine seem really trivial and silly. And by the time I finished interceding on their behalf, I had a new attitude - one of deep gratitude!

Desires, Expectations, Demands?

The objects of most of our desires are not evil. The problem is the way they tend to grow, and the control they come to exercise over our hearts.
Desires are a part of human existence, but they must also be held with an open hand....
The problem with desire is that in sinners it very quickly morphs into demand ("I must"). Demand is the closing of my fists over a desire. Even though I may be unaware that I have done it, I have left my proper position of submission to God. I have decided that I must have what I have set my heart on and nothing can stand in the way. I am no longer comforted by God's desire for me; I am threatened by it, because God's will potentially stands in the way of my demand....
There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations.

-Paul David Tripp,
Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands,

quoted in:
Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
Trusting God With a Hope Deferred
By Carolyn McCully