Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Desires, Expectations, Demands?

The objects of most of our desires are not evil. The problem is the way they tend to grow, and the control they come to exercise over our hearts.
Desires are a part of human existence, but they must also be held with an open hand....
The problem with desire is that in sinners it very quickly morphs into demand ("I must"). Demand is the closing of my fists over a desire. Even though I may be unaware that I have done it, I have left my proper position of submission to God. I have decided that I must have what I have set my heart on and nothing can stand in the way. I am no longer comforted by God's desire for me; I am threatened by it, because God's will potentially stands in the way of my demand....
There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations.

-Paul David Tripp,
Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands,

quoted in:
Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
Trusting God With a Hope Deferred
By Carolyn McCully

3 comments:

Jessica said...

Thanks, Mary. Very appropriate for me tonight. I had just been thinking about this subject earlier this evening. At work there is a picture on the wall that is called "Rival Attraction". It is an "old-fashionedy" print with a little girl sitting in an easy chair with a book lying limp in her hands. She is gazing at the little kitty that is peering down at her from his perch on the top of the chair. It reminded me of how I often want things that are legitimately good things, but they're not the things I'm supposed to be occupied with until another season of my life. Kitties are good, but not when you're supposed to be studying!! Thanks for the encouragement! :)

Jessica

mikestahlman said...

Very good post. An article I read online referenced a similar website on the subject: www.pureintimacy.org. An article, "Five Criteria for Addiction Assessment" lists the first criteria of an addiction as fantasy. "The power of fantasy is the enduring power of addiction." Your article shows that these fantasies may initially be based on a good thing, but then they seize control of our lives.

Bethanie said...

wow. I've never thought of it like that before.