Happiness Is....

... A new book stand in the kitchen window so I can sing all 21 verses of "Immanuel's Land"

while doing dishes

... Watching a friend in love

... Seeing my little sister grow up into somebody really sweet and Godly

... A brother who is tender and thoughtful and misses us so much

... A sister with a swelling belly full of wiggly baby

... A whole quiet day at home by myself (bliss!)

... A new blue dress with brown polka dots that I adore

... Godly men who live lives of faithfulness day in and day out

... Not answering the phone sometimes

... Reading many chapters a day {it's been too many years since I've read much}

... An office assistant who is so reliable and prompt and cheerful

... My mom... here, alive, happy

... My dad, faithful as clockwork

... Pens that work well

... Laundry all done!

... Jana's homemade cheesecake ice cream

... Clean floors

... Miles to run and walk

... Friends who love me more for pointing out how off-track they've become

... Friends who exhort me, instead of just flattering

... Whole nights of sleep

... A car that has been running without a problem for over two months!!

... Really hard, scary births that end really well

... People that understand schizophrenia and cancer

... A strained checkbook, reminding me that less money isn't less joy, happiness or living

... People that come over and love you even when you're hot and sweaty and the house is a mess and tomatoes are all over the table and floor

... Really old holey bathroom floor replaced with new

... Things that make me think, like: "Whatever humbles me, helps me."

... And for all of the other things that are horrifying, depressing, overwhelming, scary, and worse than I even imagined ~ God is still the same unchanging, just and merciful God.

Cool Breezes

Without air conditioning, there's no escaping the warm stickiness that pervades everything from morning til night all summer. After a week of triple digit temperatures, it's been lovely to wake up to cool breezes and a few raindrops blowing in the window. It's been more than lovely. It makes me smile as soon as I'm conscious and thank God for the little blessings He sends my way!

Tomorrow it's supposed to be 102 again. I'll thank Him for a long drive in an air conditioned car. :)

In other news, Jemima is going to be off bed rest next Wednesday! After that, her baby can arrive whenever it wants to.... between then and early September.

Of course, we're all just a little bit excited and everyone is eagerly anticipating finding out if it's a....

Girl

or

Boy! :)

Abe and Sam have been in Africa for a few weeks. They say that everyone only gets one meal a day there because of lack of food. Abe says that he's sure Sam will gladly eat anything we serve him for the rest of his life when he gets home! Sam flies home next week, but Abe has been asked to stay longer. We hope he won't shrivel up on one meal a day!

As for me... I shouldn't blog at 2 am. I should go to bed. I think I will....

Early Morning Gratitute

I went for a run in the already warm, sticky, sun-coming-up-over-the-hills morning and

I found myself grateful for

a healthy body

great running shoes

an Ipod full of lovely music and thoughts and words

summertime

creeks babbling over polished stones

sun-dappled country roads with trees forming a canopy overhead

An hour alone without my phone ringing or people trying to talk to me

Liz back at home, singing and making breakfast

And most of all, my mind focused on the phrase:

"... the God of Hope..." (Romans 15:13) -- More on that, coming soon.

Thankful....

Tonight I'm thankful for

So very many dishes to wash

16 little children, mostly under the age of 8, at our house for the day

All the cheerios, pineapple, peanut butter sandwiches, yogurt smoothies, chicken nuggets, mulberries, strawberries, and cherries they ate all day long, leaving crumbs all over the floor and juice dribbling down their chins and arms

Sweaty, dirty little 2 year old arms encircling my neck and squeezing me tight when I'm already hot and sweaty and don't want anybody to touch me

A dad who says "I love you" every time he calls me or sees me leaving for the day.

A mom who says, "Let's stop and pray about this right now" every time a conversation involves someone else's problems.

A sister who does hard things without complaint

A teenage brother who isn't afraid of long, long hot sweaty days of work

Dinner with my family and friends all around the table.

Cold water gushing out of garden hoses as I plant tomatoes

Piles of clean sheets and laundry, preparing for the next friends' arrival

Quiet nights all by myself with chances to hear myself think after everyone's gone to sleep

Summer breezes drifting in the open windows when I awake

Being mostly off-call.

A Week of Grace

It's been quite a week!

It started with the transmission in my car going out on Sunday.

So, that meant that I've been begging cars off people to drive all week. My dad has been really generous and let me drive his old clunker on prenatal days. For some reason, all of our other nicer, newer vehicles break down and have problems at least occasionally. The old white beast that he bought at an auction ($300) for the younger kids to learn to drive in? It never, ever breaks down. The door handles don't work, and the windows don't roll up and down, and it's hard to start, and the gas tank is weird, and the speedometer doesn't work, and the lights and wipers take special talent to operate... BUT it runs, once you get it started. And it sure turns heads! You'd think I was a drug-dealer or something...

The Missouri State Medical Association seems to be pulling some fast tricks on us this week. I received a really bizarre email from their main lobbyist and several of the other ladies have been getting weird phone calls. Basically, they all decided overnight that they all love midwives and they want to expand our practice in Missouri, instead of encroach on it. They want us to all sit down and tell them what we dream of for the future so they can help us however they can.

Yeah, right. I wish it could be true. I so wish it was true.

In a way, it's a good thing to hear, coming from them because it means they're desperate and out of all tactics other than trying to be our friends. We just have to figure out how to respond. "Wise as serpents, and harmless as doves" has come to mind so many times today.

I just can't get away from politics...

Then there's been other things - lots of situations and stories and happenings. All in about a week's time, there have been two shootings or murders in the news - children murdering their own parents. And we've known the family, or close relatives of the family in both cases. It makes me pray for the hearts of each child in our family. And Japan's earthquake... it could have just as easily been us. Sometimes life is just tragic, ugly, uncomprehendable.... it is what sinners make of it. But God, who made life is always good, true, just, all together lovely.

Through the whole week of car problems, insincere politicians and lobbyists; unspeakable violence and tragedy, there's been Grace. I've thought about it all week. When my car broke down, I saw Grace in my dad handing me the keys to his car so freely and kindly. When I had a couple of nights of very little sleep, I saw Grace as my already over-worked mother came to my rescue and helped me pull some things together. I saw Grace as people were nice to me when I didn't deserve it. I saw Grace when someone I don't even know sent me a gift of money (just in time to pay a bill). I saw Grace when all of my breech babies turned back to head-down! I saw Grace all week, around every corner and under every stone in my path!

...Grace to cover all my sins, and grace to cover all the things I like and don't like. Grace to be cheerful and keep working and smiling when I am utterly exhausted. Grace to rest and know that it is God, not me that will accomplish that which He pleases in my life. Grace to trust that I'll have the money I need when I need it, and not waste energy fretting over unexpected big bills. Grace to believe that some of the most awful, shattered things could some day be a trophy of God's grace. Grace to believe that my God is always good, and to believe it enough that every day is a new morning of tender mercies and a reason to rejoice!

This could have been considered a "difficult" week... but instead I consider it a happy week ~ one full of Grace!

"When morning guilds the skies, my heart awakening cries, May Jesus Christ be praised!"

Everyday Gratitude

Laurel's got me started!

I'm grateful for so many things.

But on this chilly, rainy night I'm grateful for brothers washing dishes...

for piping hot banana bread made by little sisters...

for little children running through the dark, rainy night howling with delight...

for little girls who do not have a mother but come to visit and sleep in my bed...

for the dryer humming nearby...

for a starry-eyed sister on the phone with her Love....

for finding a 20 week baby's heartbeat, when I feared it gone today....

for the friends who are interceding across the country for a situation that
only God can save and fix...

for the sweet card in the mail...

for my mother's gentleness and forgiveness...

for fellow midwives who are too busy to help, but hug me and tell me they understand....

for HOPE... that God is good, no matter what He does with my life.

Gratefulness

This week I was reminded of the power of gratefulness.

I've actually thought that I usually do a pretty good job of expressing appreciation, but as I sat there listening to how rare gratefulness is in our society, the Lord brought to my mind many, many things that I have never written a thank you note for, never called someone to say,
"Thank you. That meant so much to me."

I have determined to be more grateful.
To write thank you notes when I should,
even if it means later nights or less time for my projects.
To say thank you and smile when someone does something kind.
To notice the effort people put into what they do for me.
To remember the time that others have invested into my life.
To do more than be conciously aware of other's gifts to me --
I must take the time to genuinely thank them, or they will never know that I noticed.
It can make all the difference in the world to someone.

Have you let those around you know how much you value
their investment in your life?

Regardless of whether it was
a simple smile,
a handful of wilted daisies,
a glass of water,
a friendly "hello!",
a lovely gift,
an encouraging word
or everything you'd ever dreamed of.

It deserves a genuine "thank you!"