Life

Life is so full and happy and busy. I don't even know where to start! I feel breathlessly overwhelmed with all of God's goodness to me! I don't know if He's been extra kind to me lately, or if I just never noticed before. I feel like I'm in love... except it's with my Savior!

Answered prayer after answered prayer...
He doesn't have to do anything for me, and yet daily He showers me with blessings!
I hope to have time to say more soon here on my blog, though I really don't know where I would start.

Until then, keep pressing upward and looking at the Face of Jesus!
The things of earth will grow strangely dim. And He will become all you want.

Enjoying these lyrics today:
"How deep the Father's love for us.... that He should make a wretch His treasure!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV2zMZ-nZ7k

What It Cost Thee...

Oh, teach me what it meaneth -

That cross uplifted high,

With One - the Man of Sorrows -

Condemned to bleed and die!

Oh teach me what it cost Thee

To make a sinner whole;

And teach me, Savior, teach me

The value of a soul!

- Lucy Bennett

Leonard Ravenhill once said, "God does not answer many prayers - they are too locked up in self-pity or aimed at personal benefit. He does answer desperate prayer." And until we get desperate for souls, our prayers for them may remain unanswered. For just as Jesus wept over Jerusalem, so should we weep over our lost loved ones if we really want to see them saved.

It was seven years before Carey baptized his first convert in India; it was seven years before Judson won his first disciple in Burmah; Morrison toiled seven years before the first Chinaman was brought to Christ; Moffat declares that he waited seven years to see the evident moving of the Holy Spirit upon the Bechuanas of Africa; Henry Richards wrought seven years in the Congo before his first convert was gained at Benza Mantaka. (A. J. Gordon, The Holy Spirit in Missions)

The most incredible case of persistence is found in the life of George Muller. Because he had much success early in his ministry in seeing the immediate conversion of many for whom he had just prayed, he got the impression that it would always be that way. But listen to his testimony concerning this, "If I say that during the fifty-four years and nine months that I have been a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ I have had thirty thousand answers to prayer, either in the same hour or the same day that the requests were made, I should not go a particle too far... But one or the other might suppose all my prayers have been thus promptly answered. No, not all of them. Sometimes I have had to wait weeks, months, or years; sometimes many years....

In November 1844, I began to pray for the conversion of five individuals. I prayed every day without one single intermission, whether sick or in health, on the land or on the sea. and whatever the pressure of my engagements might be. Eighteen months elapsed before the first of the five was converted. I thanked God and prayed on for the others. Five years elapsed, and then the second was converted. I thanked God for the second, and prayed on for the other three. Day by day I continued to pray for them, and six more years passed before the third was converted. I thanked God for the three, and went on praying for the other two. These two remain unconverted. The man to whom the riches of His grace has been given tens of thousands of answers to prayer, in the self-same hour or day on which they have been offered, has been praying day by day for nearly thirty-six years for the conversion of these two individuals, and yet they remain unconverted." (George Muller: Delighted in God by Roger Steer)

But this is not the end of the story. He kept on praying day after day, year after year and then he said, "The great point is never to give up till the answer comes. I have been praying sixty-three years and eight months for one man's conversion. He not saved yet but he will be. How can it be otherwise...I am praying."

The day came when Muller's friend received Christ. It did not come until Muller's casket was lowered into the ground. There, near an open grave, this friend gave his heart to God. Prayers of perserverance had won another battle. Muller's success may be summarized in four powerful words: "He did not quit." (No Easy Road, by Dick Eastman)

-- Taken from a little booklet our church as been going through during our Thursday night prayer meetings: Praying Effectively for the Lost, by Lee E. Thomas

I've been convicted and re-inspired to keep praying fervently for certain lost souls who have burdened my heart for a long time. I may never see the results, but I am called to be faithful and to interceed on their behalf. I hope you will be re-inspired to keep praying for the lost people in your life, too!

Ramblings Over Coffee

Liz with some of "her" little people...

Little people too young to do anything but just be themselves!

For once, I have more time than I have things to say here...



I'm sitting in Panera Bread, waiting for my doula client's labor to pick up enough for her to want anybody with her. I guess I could just go home, but that's a long way away if I have to turn around and come back soon. I ended up skipping out on a really fun family dinner at some friends' house tonight because I was told that I would be needed soon... Now I'm wishing I had gone to the dinner, because nothing has happened after all. Oh, well. Such is the wonderful life of anyone who works with pregnant women!



But while I sit here, I'm thinking of the many wonderful ways I've been blessed recently.

As I type, I'm using my "new" laptop. I'd been needing another one for quite awhile since my ancient laptop finally bit the dust and decided to entirely quit working. I really couldn't afford another one. But I really, really needed one. I smiled to myself and thought, "It wouldn't be hard for God to give me one, if He thinks I need it."

But as a few days went by, I wanted to DO something about... let somebody know that I was looking for one... You know, it didn't look like God was busy laptop shopping for me.

But I kept my mouth shut and prayed and waited. And two weeks later, the Lord provided one for me - better than I would have eventually bought myself, all at no cost to me! It seemed as though God was once again grinning and saying, "Prove Me now..."

*** *** ***

While I was sitting here, I got into a conversation with a friend on Facebook who was telling me about her sometimes uncomfortable social situation, dating a man from an impressive social circle. "All the other wives have it so together," she said. "Their lives seem so perfect."



It made me think of something another friend of mine said recently after moving to another state. She was lamenting the lack of friends to celebrate her birthday with. "It's not that I don't have friends here. It's that they are all fake." I asked her what she meant by that. She clarified, "Well, they just aren't real. Everybody has it together, and they all lead such fake lives. Maybe they aren't fake, but their lives are so fake." I've thought about what she said... a lot.



We all know that as much as people may look like it at times, they don't have it all together. Beneath the tinsel and glitter and merry laugh and impressive schedule, there are hurts and tears and frustrations and for some of them, the nagging question of why they even exist.



The more I get to know people, the more I realize that people are crying out for someone who is real. Christians and non-Christians. Smart people, simple people, pretty people, ugly people, slender people, fat people, talented people, people that lead boring lives, people that are in-between. Underneath our facades and smiles and "I'm fine's", we all long to just be real sometimes.



I'm learning more and more to value people who are real, even if real isn't impressive in some ways. It's just good and wholesome and lovable when people are honest. And I'm trying to learn to be more real. Sometimes I really can't explain everything in my life to them, but I can be real.




I remember going off to the Capitol so many early mornings when Mom would gently say, "Just be yourself, Mary. Don't try to impress anybody. Just be real. That's so much more valuable than being impressive."

At first, I would think, "Well, of course..." and then hustle on with my busy day. But as I spent more and more time in the world of politics and began to see that it is all one facade of very little substance and very few people who are real or honest, her words began to ring in my ears more and more every day.

I found myself walking down the halls, trying to lobby. But above the din one thought ran incessantly through my head. "Just be real. They are trying impress. You don't have to be fake. Just be your real self..."

It was some of the best advice Mom ever gave me when I was there, and it seems more true than ever today.

Just be real. Fake lives don't help anybody. People are drawn to real people. The truth is, none of us are real impressive. We're most impressive when we tell the truth about ourselves.

*** *** ***

I think I'll go home now... and hope I get some sleep before my cell phone rings again. :) Or that the call comes before I get all the way home...

The God Who Is Enough

This past month has brought many challenges, struggles and questions in my life, which I cannot detail on a public blog, some of which simply raged privately in my own heart.

Some of the situations were ones that I had never imagined having to deal with. But here I was - things, people, decisions, situations staring me in the face.

I have found myself in a place of desperation over and over, my heart pounding, my stomach in knot. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I fail? What if I respond wrongly to this situation? What if I mistake God's will? Have I got myself in this place because of my own selfish or prideful choices? What will God do with this situation? How? What if I have foolishly ruined my testimony?

Time and again I have found myself in a place where I didn't know what to do. I couldn't fix it. I couldn't even walk on till I knew which way to walk.

Time and again, I have cried out to God in desperation... for answers, solutions, wisdom.

And I have found in Him just what I need. I have watched him turn situations around that I thought only had a couple of bad options. Instead He came through with a glorious miracle. And I have stood back in utter amazement that God truly can create beauty from ashes, not only in my life and heart, but in those around me. I have been shocked to see the work of God in the hearts of people that seemed impossible to reach.

A few weeks ago, I was begging God to deal with a situation and give me answers. And it dawned on me, that God might fix it in a way that would be more painful that I would ever want to imagine. I finally came to a place of surrendering it to God, and asking him to fix it no matter what the cost. I thought of David's response in II Samuel Chapter 24 when God offered him a choice of three punishments for his disobedience in numbering the people of Israel. David asked God to choose, saying that he knew that God was merciful. I, too, chose to fall on God's mercy and asked him to resolve it however He must, only to show me what to do. And God solved the seemingly gigantic problem with such a simple and beautiful solution that I was stunned. Again, the goodness of God, evident in my life.

A couple days ago, I received a shocking and horrible phone call in a very public place. Once again, my stomach in a knot, fighting tears, I could do nothing but cry out silently to my Heavenly Father once again. He has been my Rock. He has been Enough all of my life. I felt anything but peace about what the future could bring. But as my wild emotions churned inside, God gently whispered, "Have you forgotten what I have done for you already this month? Can I not solve this as easily as the other problems you have faced?"

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Ps. 23: 1-3

Though cold, dark winds are blowing through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil. I have never been in greener pastures than these. Never before have I seen my Shepherd's Hand on my life so keenly. I will walk on where He leads.

Camels and Needles on Election Day

This past month it seems that God has been trying to show me that He specializes in impossibilities....

It was Election Day. I was driving across town, praying for the souls of two men who I have come to care about deeply. This year they were running against each other for a top state government position. Their character left much to be desired. But in getting to know them, I had become more and more convicted of their need for a Savior -- far greater than my need for either one of them win or loose in the election. Sure, their election would affect my temporary, earthly life in some small way. But what about their never-dying souls?

They were both people in "high places" who I felt would be less likely to humble themselves before a Holy God than for "a camel to go through the eye of a needle." I prayed for it daily, but I really couldn't picture it happening.

This day their names were on every ballot across the state. I didn't even know anymore who should win that position. The whole situation was a confusing mess.

"God," I cried out, "They seem impossible to reach. Will they ever come to the end of themselves and cry out for mercy? Will they ever see what wretched souls they are before You? Will they ever see their desperate need for God?"

These men have flippantly joked about "Christian fanatics" and about people who get too serious about religion, the one making it especially clear that he thinks that religion and prayer and God are for grannies, not intelligent, educated, powerful men like him.

So, as my heart was heavy for him, I prayed, feeling useless and senseless and without any direction of what to even pray for him.

And then I got a text... from him. It said (among other things), "If you have any spare moments today, would you stop and pray for me?"

Pray for me?!

That was a weird statement, to be made by a man who doesn't believe in prayer. Why would he bother on the biggest day of his life to ask me to pray for him if he didn't think it would do some good?

Maybe he was starting to believe that God really does rule over the affairs of men. I remembered with gratefulness how this man had a few months earlier heard a powerful and moving testimony of an answer to prayer. I had thought that he couldn't have possibly forgot the story he heard, and I had prayed for months that God would use that story in his heart to remind him again and again of the greatness, justice, and holiness of God.

I replied that I was praying for him, and would continue to do so. But I didn't pray that he would win or loose the election. I prayed that God would use whatever it would take in his life and that of his opponent - winning or loosing (for both of them), to bring them both to an awareness of their need for a Saviour. It was hard not to tell God which one I wanted to win for my own comfort. Instead I asked God to use the election in the lives of these politicians to bring them to Himself. And then I left the results up to God.

The day after the election, the same man (who ended up winning) sent me another message. He sounded so different... humble... not like himself. "Thank you," it said, "For continuing to pray for me. I can't tell you what it means to me."

Wow. The man who didn't believe in prayer was now acknowledging his need for prayer. He has a lot of friends who are powerful and rich and pompous and clever . But he seemed to think that a little nobody like me might have a connection to the God he ought to know? I smiled. There was a glimmer of hope. Maybe a camel would go through the eye of a needle after all!

Once again, I was reminded that God is not limited by the limits of MY imagination or human possibilities.

I'm still praying for him, and asking God to continue bring the Truth of the Gospel before this man who lives in a world of the false pretense of politics. But his sincere requests for prayer have left me with a glimmer of hope that, yes, God can change the hearts of kings and rulers and He can bring them to their knees.

My only job is to be faithful to speak the truth and pray and let God work in their hearts. God can do what I can't imagine, and that is my prayer for both of these men.

Speechless... We WON?!?!?

I am speechless.

Reality hasn't sunk in yet, and I keep pinching myself, asking, "Did I really get that phone call from our attorney this afternoon?!?!"

My family and friends assure me that I am very much awake. And the presence of 134 new related emails that have appeared in my inbox in that last couple of hours confirms it.

I'm afraid I sounded very unprofessional and giddily happy when reporters were calling me for comments this afternoon. I was so happy that I didn't care what they thought of my crazily ecstatic comments. (Yes, it's always dumb to get so emotional that you don't care what you're saying to the media!)

The Missouri Supreme Court decided the midwifery case in our favor!!

On July 4th, the felony status of Certified Professional Midwives in Missouri will be lifted, and they will be free to practice.

I guess I'll eventually grasp how this will change my life and plans sometime soon... maybe.

For now, Psalm 146 echoes my heart tonight...

Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul.
While I live, will I praise the LORD:
I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.

Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that day his thoughts perish.

Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God: Which made heaven, and earth, the sea, and all that therein is:

Which keepeth truth for ever:
Which executeth judgement for the oppressed:
Which giveth food to the hungry.
The LORD looseth the prisoners.
The LORD openeth the eyes of the blind.
The LORD raiseth them that be bowed down.
The LORD loveth the righteous.
The LORD preserveth the strangers.
He relieveth the fatherless and widows:
but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.

If God Should Open the Windows of Heaven

(Setting: The great Samarian famine, with Syria's army starving everyone inside the city.)
" ...Elisha said, Hear ye the word of the Lord; Thus saith the Lord, tomorrow about this time shall a measure of fine flour be sold for a shekel, and two measures of barley for a shekel, in the gate of Samaria. Then a lord on whose hand the king leaned answered the man of God, and said, Behold if the Lord would make windows in heaven, might this thing be?"
II Kings 7: 1-2

A few days ago I found myself sitting at my desk with a huge bill staring me in the face.
To some people it may have seemed small, but to me it was HUGE - in the tens of thousands of dollars.

It wasn't exactly all mine personally to pay, as it was the legal expenses for the cause I had been working on and directing, yet it was sort of my responsibility to find the resources to pay it, by default... because no one else was doing so.

A sickening feeling gripped me for several days as I thought of the possibilities of NOT having the money to pay the bill. I kept reminding myself, "God knows. He can pay it. It's not a big deal to Him if he wants it paid. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills." But the knot in my stomach wouldn't go away, as the visible and tangible seemed so much more real than faith that somehow, out of somewhere, thousands and thousands of dollars would appear.

I asked friends to pray about it. Most of them smiled and remarked, "That's a lot of money. Okay, I'll pray about it." But they all seemed to have forgotten within five minutes. My family was sympathetic, but again, it wasn't their burden.

It was mine. I was responsible, and in moments like these, responsibility can be a harsh master. I could think of nothing else some days (and nights). How, how, how would we come up with the money? I expected supporters to send money, but they didn't send hardly anything. I tried to have faith that money would appear, but it didn't. I told myself again and again that God is always on time, but seldom early. As the deadline was a couple of days away, I couldn't pretend it was going to be "okay", because owing a huge bill like this certainly couldn't be ignored.

I continued to pray for God's will to be done. I asked him to show Himself strong and glorify His name through providing what was needed. But at the same time, I was surrendered. Maybe He had a lesson to teach me through NOT sending the money. I had no idea what I would do if that was the case, but worrying about it wasn't helping.

The bill was due Monday morning of this week. Sunday I had much of the day to think and pray as I was driving home from a weekend event. (I had suggested to the Lord that He could provide the money there over the weekend, but I wasn't handed even an unexpected two dollars....)

As I drove, I alternated radio sermons with silence. One preacher talked about the great resources of God and how God will never budget Himself out of providing for anything that He wants done. I grabbed onto that thought. I could, I must believe that. If God wanted this done, He would pay for it. And he wouldn't cut Himself short or not come up with quite enough money.

Sunday night I was supposed to hear back from one potential donor if they had decided to donate part of the needed sum. Their answer was that they hadn't made up their mind about giving any money.

Monday morning dawned. God??

I suddenly felt strangely confident that this was God's job, not mine. It was beyond my greatest abilities to make anything happen. It was beyond me devising some great new strategy for raising the needed money. It was beyond me convincing someone to give. It was something that only God could accomplish. I knew I had been faithful in working on what I could do. All I could do was step back and wait for Him to work.

An hour passed. No word from anyone. Another hour.

I met a good friend for breakfast who asked how things were going. I told her about the bill, knowing she had no money and couldn't do anything about it. Her eyes bulged out. "You need HOW MUCH MONEY?!? I thought I had a big problem, thinking about coming up with $14,000 for nursing school by next year! And you have $75,000 to come up with really soon?! And you need $25,000 of it by noon today?!"
I nodded and smiled. She seemed to think I was crazy to be so calm about it. The need was so ridiculously huge that a smile did seem out of place.

About two hours later, I received a text message - "We have just received all of the $25,000 for today's bill, with about an extra $4000 that was just donated towards the upcoming bill."

I smiled. God HAD opened the windows of heaven. I knew He could. He had just proved Himself once again, and yes, He's always on time, but seldom early.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.