When I Don't Know What My Heart Needs

"God is beyond good to bless our lives with children!

When we don't know what our hearts need, He does!! All we have to do is let Him bless us. :-) "

-- The words of a long-time family friend,

a mommy of 14 children,

writing about her youngest child turning three.

"When we don't know what our hearts need, He does!!"

So true. So true.

2010 was a year of me not knowing what my heart needed, but God was kind enough to give me what my heart needed.

Lots of pain, lots of stretching, lots of disappointment... but He stirred up the stagnant places and the places that had grown hard and selfish and dead and just full of myself.

He broke my heart so I could be tender and compassionate instead of proud and "together".

He disappointed my fondest hopes so that I could learn to love Him more than life itself.

He led me through the fire so that I could learn what really matters and what doesn't matter at all in life - this one, and the one to come.

He gave me Himself, and His tenderness, and His nearness and compassion so that I could learn to love Him and Him alone. So that I could see that really nothing else matters much in comparison to clinging to Jesus.

He said, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall SEE GOD!"

That is one of my goals for this year. To have a pure heart. Not because I can make myself have a pure heart, or even see what is ugly and defiled in my heart (I'm so blind to my own sin so often).

But it is my goal to let the Lord Jesus form in me a pure heart - a heart with a single eye, a single master, a single vision, by yielding to His Hands in my life, even when they hurt. For He knows what my heart needs, even when I don't.

I love Him for that.