The Letter

It arrived today. For real. And... it said that I passed the final NARM exam and am now a Certified Professional Midwife.

For me, the news is so big that it's hard to believe. It's so surreal. Maybe it will sink it the next time someone in Wal-Mart or at the gas station asks me what I do and I proudly say, "I'm a midwife!"

I'm happy. I'm blessed. I'm thrilled to tears.

And to think that being a CPM wouldn't really have meant a thing in Missouri two years ago...
I'm so grateful to Senator Loudon and the hundreds of other people who came together and legalized Certified Professional Midwives in Missouri!

I can think of so many twists and turns in the path to becoming a midwife that I have taken in the last 10 years. I'm so grateful for all of it - the fun stuff, the good stuff I'll never forget, the hard stuff, the horrible stuff, the exhausting stuff. Somehow, all mixed together, it made me who I am.

People often say most excitedly, "Oh, you're becoming a midwife?! That must be soo fun! I can't imagine how much I would love to deliver babies and be with the mothers on that special day!"
Or else they say, "Oh, my! I could never handle that!"

Really, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. There are wonderful parts and there are really hard parts.

Someone recently asked me, "What scares you more than about anything in the life you live?" I said without hesitation, "Shoulder dystocia!" On the other hand, I can think of a thousand things that I love about being involved in the lives of pregnant women who are learning and loving nurturing the tiny bits of life growing within them.

Some days I love it. Some days I'm so burnt out and hope desperately that my phone won't ring again for at least 20 minutes. But all together, it's so worth it in spite of the hard parts.

Would one choose not to experience motherhood and birth because of the pain and hardships and utter exhaustion? I would hope not.

It is through giving and loving and stretching more than you ever thought possible, and yes, sometimes hurting, that the soul expands and that life is made rich. Love, life - anything worthwhile is costly. But so worth it. Midwifery is that way.

I could go on and on, but I won't bore you... til another day, anyway!